Hair Bum- Part 2 (a.k.a. HAIR DISASTER FOR THE NEW YEAR)

Last month, I was at Walgreens to purchase a travel pillow for my husband. I found one in deep purple. I thought it was nice. It felt good on my hands and was terrific on my neck. I thought,

“Wow, this could ease up his ordeal going through long-haul journey with me!”

In brief seconds, I grabbed it, glided into the cashier line, paid my bill, and then sauntered back to the nearby isle. Next, I walked along the rows of hair care products; looked around then finally settled for a highlighter for my hair. By the cashier, I queued for the second time around; paid my bill then breezed through the door. In a few moments’ time, I was home again and free. Inside, I went straight to the loo and deposited my purchase. At the cupboard under the sink, I squeezed the box right at the bottom end of it. Once concealed from all the rest of the stuff inside it I left the bathroom and closed the door.

Last Monday, at half past nine in the morning, I decided I was going to be out from my zombie zone. Coming home from an overseas trip always drags me down. However, the jetlag I had this time was horrific. May be because my international flights have not been as frequent as when I was still single. Back then I traveled like 4X a year in the summer, during my spring break, winter break and whatever holidays we had at school plus the host country's holidays.

Being married and a stay-at-home wife had set a difference in my body clock, time zone flexibility and many more. Anyhow, it seems like my body could not cope with the opposite period I have in San Francisco. Our trip in MNL and BKK last Yuletide and New Year was terrific but our transitions time-wise had been tough.

I for one had a rough time dealing with it. My eyes were dry from oversleeping and I have puffy eyes- what a sight! Ngeek! My eyes wanted more time to sleep~ but my body did not want to. How is that? Horrible! Besides, I could not be like a cocaine freak who is perennially asleep then would wake up in the middle of the night, when all the world is asleep and dreaming!

Finally, after being dazed for almost two weeks now, I decided the day has come for me to deal with it (sigh).So...

At half past nine in the morning, I went to the bathroom; opened the cupboard and got my highlighter box. Inside, I found the ensemble of the small mascara look-alike brush; plastic bowl (for mixing chemicals); bleaching powder and developer. There, all was set to start my hair day experiment.

At the loo, I glanced at the mirror in front of me and imagined things on how I would look later. Would I be prettier? Ha!Ha! I had a good quiet laugh. May be I would be like a beach blonde-haired woman? Who knows?

[To continue this soliloquy...]

I did the prep work of my hair-day experiment and put on the gloves; mixed the bleach and developer all at the same time. Once blended, I stopped momentarily to check out the instructions.

"Hm, all is well."

Next, I started to gather thin streaks of hair from my scalp (to brush them with the chemicals I just worked on). After a while, my hair was covered with the liquefied bleach.

Reading the label gave me a lot of hope that my streaks would look terrific. And after fifteen minutes of struggling with the painting style of the bleach thank goodness-I was done!

Inside the bathroom, I cleaned my mess then went to take a breather. I sat on the loveseat in our sitting room. Our flat is small but cozy and the loveseat is my nook for some solitary times. There, I worked with the laptop on my lap and began reading my emails. I thought,

“I could shoot two birds with one stone: read emails and wait for my hair to develop. Now, that isn't too bad, right?”

Did I do the right thing?

Hm...you had better follow me through this.

Since I am the creative type, once my creativity is triggered, I am focused and nothing could kick me off that state of mind. Then, in the midst of my editing work, I got so glued to it.

I love reading and writing is my passion. While editing my work for international publication (on international art education), I got so engrossed. Then, TING! I realized I was totally out of the loop as far as the time frame for my hair to develop. Then, BANG! I felt the hair in my body was standing. Yikes! I had goose bumps, Gee-whiz! I realized I was silly enough to have been carried away with my writing!

Then, something went wrong...

So, I rushed to the loo and checked out my hair. In the mirror, it looked awful. My highlight (copper tone) had turned into big time BLOND!!! Wahhhhhhhhhhh! Omigod!OMG! What must I do?

My mind was reeling...my heart was drumming; my skin- was sweaty, my sex appeal- gone! This is the story of my life. Wahhh! I was in a delirious spell. Shit, this could not be happening to me! I am not Caucasain and my skin is brown (or pale tan). How could I be blond?

Now, I am so dumb since I am now a blond (*crying out loud*)!

In a fast groove, I took off my clothes; hopped into the cold tub; turned on the shower and let the water ran lose. I was running wild like a drunken duck, disfigured by panic and misery. I had washed off the bleach that stuck in my hair. Then my conscience haunted me:

"If you only listened to your spouse and went straight to your hairdresser at MACY'S this crazy thing would have not happened!"

At the tub, my feet were covered with bleach. The scent of was awful. I thought I wanted to puke, as the odor was strong and suffocating me. I rinsed my hair as fast as I could. Then, I felt this sudden change in the texture of my hair.

"WTF is happening to me? Now my naturally freezy hair has gone for the worse! Call it over cooking, over baking, call it whatever you wanna call. Aw! It is horrific!"

I wanted to kill someone! But who? Me? I have no idea that I made a fool out of me. Poor me! The ad said,

"YOU WANNA LOOK PRETTY? Try this product!"

Gathering back my logic took a good 60 seconds (sigh). I needed to move fast. I needed a lot of shampoo plus the conditioner I need is massive. Perhaps, I could resolve this fiasco or I would be the pariah of this neighborhood. No, no, no!!!

At the bathroom, my immaculate white tub started to look like rust. It was a mess getting rid of the dye. At long ast, the bleach scent was out but the color is still on.

After drying my hair, I finally had the guts to see myself and face the mirror. There, I saw this silly petite woman in her 40s who is now officially is a BLOND as in Marilyn Monroe blond, take note. *HELLO?*

Up next...

What must I do? I needed to think fast but my mind was in suspended animation!

Shivering and cursing, I combed my hair fast, put on my make-up, dressed up immediately in my winter apparel. Finally, I found myself getting out of my flat. I paced towards the nearby chemist at Chinatown, at Walgreens. There, with my wet hair dripping all over me, I found my turf *SIGH.*. I felt somewhat secured I was there. It was the place that brought me all this yoyo kind of feeling: Happy then in fury; pretty then ugly. Oh, I tell you, I could kill a cat!MEOW!

Inside Walgreens, I was able to camouflage my blond hair with the huge pink spring hat I wore. There, I walked slowly and went straight to the isle where the hair colors were sold. In that isle, I was happy to take note that no single soul was present. That was a consolation. There, I thought of purchasing the darkest shade ever of any branded hair dye available. I needed something that could fully cover the blond streaks in my hair (sigh) that turned into a big time blond! Finally, I saw two boxes of dark mahogany red hair dye. I grabbed them fast and easy. Beyond sorrow and in deep repose, I thought,

"This is perfect."

My vendetta has arrived- *TING*! I know would feel better in a short while! I grabbed those two boxes of hair color and breezed through the cashier. There, I was delighted and astonished~ I was the lone costumer in line. Lucky me! After the payment was done, I went back to the shelving to where the mirrors were sold. Finally, I gathered enough guts to see myself in the mirror~ if only to check out the way I look that time. Holy Cow! My family would disown me! I wanted to cry but I could not cry!

My heart was pumping all sorts of rhythm! My chest was expanding like it was ready to explode!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I look so pathetic! Huhu!

Coming home, I wanted to do the transformation of my hair color as fast as I could!

In the bathroom, I undressed all at once then wrapped myself with a beach towel; covered myself with the plastic apron to protect me from being stained any further. I had this regalia adorning my self as I started applying the hair color from the roots to the ends of my mane that reaches up to my waist. After the work was done under a short span, I made a bun and enveloped my hair with a disposable shower cap, courtesy of Ritz Carlton in Vegas when Little Boy Blue (LBB) and I went there last October.

This time, to check out my hair, I watched the minutes passed by. I was vigilant! No way I was going to make the same mistake the second time around. No way!

Thirty-five minutes later, I took a shower, got rid of the chemicals, and washed off the dye completely. After a long journey to hell, I was done at last! Ayyyyyyyy.....!

In front of the mirror, I could only smile to comfort to myself.

The blond hair is gone and is now dark mahogany red. I am resurrected from purgatory!

In consolation, I put on my make up, perfumed myself and dressed in my warm winter apparel. Finally, I had this winning smile. Ooh-lah-lah, I am beautiful again, cha-ran!

Minutes later, husband buzzed in.

"I am home..yoohoo!"

In a blink of an eye lash, he was up by the door, smiling, teasing and seducing...

I asked,

"How are you? How did the day go?"

“Fine. I am just tired. There was so much to do at the office.” He replied.

At that moment,- I looked straight into his deep blue eyes [translation: I wonder if he even noticed my hair dye?"]

“ How do I look?”

I asked him in my monosyllabic tone.

I was in the verge of breaking down, you know that moment when you swallow deep into your throat because you are afraid you were going to be laughed at?

That's how I felt.

“ What?” He asked in disbelief.

I repeated it once more.

“NOW, TELL ME HONESTLY~HOW- DO- I- LOOK?”

“You look marvelous! You look great as always and quite delicious looking, too!”

He responded in candor. Well, may be perhaps. Who knows?

“REALLY?” I asked sincerely. I almost choked.

[Translation: He did not notice the residue of my blond hair!"].

The next day when he was out of bed, he asked about my nightmare. I asked him about what thisnightmare he was referring about.

He said I was screaming in my sleep. He spoke in his usual fashion: calm, comforting, and serene.

Soon enough, I told him about my travails with my hair color experience. And then he said,

“You should have taken a photograph of yourself with your blond hair, baby.”

He teased me non-stop. I pinched him, kicked him like a baby then I counterpointed him:

“And what- chronicle my stupidity? No way! NO WAY!”

Later, we hugged, kissed, and smiled.

He was right, I should have gone to my salon in MACY's.

GEEZ.

It was a great day after all~ that Tuesday we embraced. Not so very much like the Monday I had when I struggled to be back on my feet again. (*Wink* *wink*).

~THE END~