On Going Grey, Suddenly Grey

NOTE: I wrote this narrative in my Facebook Account on August 18, 2019. I have been inactive in FB for four years. My family and friends were surprised, of course, when I suddenly reactivated my account and surprised them with my short hair. Plus, on my decision to go grey and show out my natural hair color. It is not easy but I feel liberated in doing so. No more chasing the dye every four weeks of my life. The stress of pretending I had no silver hair is over. I feel great, beautiful and sexy!

As some of my friends and former colleagues have retired, divorced and, or, remarried, I have taken the front seat of taking back my life in terms of my hair color. Yes, I know it sounds stupid and shallow but our hair means the world to us, right? It speaks of who we are: our age, ethnicity, health, beauty, social status and what-not. So why am I suddenly dedicating a time to write about this? Because it is something important to me and perhaps to you, too. And maybe after reading this, it might help you to think, re-consider and peruse if it is really worth your time? Going natural? At least for me, it is.

ON GOING GREY

I went cold turkey and ditched the dye last spring 2019. My last roots retouch was on April 7th and after that, I never looked back; never colored my hair again; and you know what? I feel good, happy, beautiful, sexy, and at ease in my own skin!But let me tell you that this did not start out to be that easy to get into as it is a long process of finding myself and knowing what is my self-worth as a woman going through this journey.It also means me, being humble and honest about who I am. Why so? Because suddenly, I am showing my age to the world through my grey strands. Can you do what I do? I used to wonder if I would ever let my hair to go grey. But for crying out loud, here I am. I am on it! The hardest stage is the first two months when the demarcation line of my hair was so apparent; akin to the fur color of a “skunk.” This is what is known as the “skunk stage” in my circle. After that, it really gets easier. And bearable to look at, carry on, show the world. That's it. I can take a bow now for doing the work. The complete transition process takes two years. For those whose hair grow faster than the norm, it is a shorter route and at just one year, the entire crown is silver, or salt and pepper. On my end, I am just on my fourth month by end of August 2019. It's funny, when I started on with this going grey process, I was almost embarrassed to show it, or to go out. Luckily, I live in San Francisco and for most time of the year, I wear a hat due to the cold weather here. But when I first took off my hat, I was in fact at the Social Security Office here in Kearny, I remember to being flushed, feverish and red. At that time, I had about half an inch length of grey from my roots. And I tell you, it looked really horrific! But as time goes by, it grows bit by bit. 

The color tones change by the month. So the final highlights and color tones are yet to be seen. That part excites me! In terms of length, now my greys are over two-inches long. My colored hair, on the other hand, has been soft and healthier sans hair dye. So, I cannot complain. I am positive that I am doing the right thing and that I am on track. So, behold and hear ye, for I got a lot more to share with you.

My hair was this long and thick until it caught the heat of fire when my oven 

exploded in December 2018 while vacationing in the Philippines. It got so brittle

to about a foot long. So, the cut was really inevitable. Moreover, there was this 
hair loss issue that I've been struggling for years but not realizing until lately
that the chemicals in the dye was the culprit. So you see, the short hair cut was  
essential to keep it healthy again. And I don't mind seeing the grey or silver locks 
growing half an inch each month. It is a natural part of me, aging, as anyone else 
who goes through with it in life.

ON LADY GODIVA’S HAIR
To make it easier for me to see this whole process to take place, I chopped off my waist long hair to a short bob cut. Well, all my adult life my hair was long. It was my identity. My sex appeal if I may say so. Haha! But then, some drastic change had to come to a prelude. And down with the old. Thus, the haircut was inevitable. I got a short bob A cut hair. Looks isometric on the side view yet very lovely to look at on the front view. How I part my hair or where I do it- right, middle or left, would show more or a bit less of the silver, but more on the salt and pepper tones. Whereas, at the back of my crown, it is basically dark. So, there is a lot see and discover once I reach the finish line!

My new hair, "blunt bob cut" done on Friday 

the 13th, September 2019 at Hector Estrada 

Salon in San Francisco.

ON LOVING MY NEW LOOK

As of the past week of August 18th, I had my seventh haircut since May 2019. It’s a different look, I know. However, I am loving it! My hair’s texture has changed dramatically over the years. Can you believe it? So, gone are the freezy and coarse strands cascading in the air. Now, they are fine and straight! Healthy and soft to the touch. Really, I so welcome the magic and essence of my aging process because it favors me to the maxim!

ON BEING WITH MY SILVER SISTERS

Likewise, during the advent of my transition, I discovered several SUPPORT GROUPS here, at FACEBOOK under the banner of SILVER HAIR/GREY/ GRAY/CHEVEUX GRIS. “Support-group-my-butt?” LOL! “Ain't that weird, funny, amazing, and unbelievable?” 

Why do they exist? Because women want to get involved; connect; and support each in order to thrive as humans. Along this school of thought, I also discovered the following: “GOING GREY GRACEFULLY.” “SILVER SISTERS.” “SILVER REVOLUTION” just to name a few. You can check other groups on INSTAGRAM and PINTEREST. They exist and growing by the multitude because they want to be heard. We want to be heard. I want to be heard. The silver revolution is here! Check them out at the search engine of FACEBOOK if you must; so you could have an idea about each of the community’s cause. But be warned in advance that you have to be a “biologically borne woman” to do so, men are not welcome. You aught to register since it is a “closed group.” Meaning? The public has no access to photos, videos and discussions shared by the members. All is taken as a private matter. Confidential. So you are secured that not the entire universe is reading your entry or browsing at your grey hair photos and or video.

Furthermore, each community has about 8K to 20K members supporting each other in this "journey to going grey." Truly, it is more complicated than merely seeing a woman with a streak of grey hair walking down the streets of San Francisco or Manila. So now, you might be asking this question: "Can I join if I am somewhere in Asia or South America?" My answer is, "Oh, you bet you could as we are from all over the world, as in the United Nations! We are from the seven continents of the globe! Thus, you are welcome to join. Come, do it!" There is nothing to be afraid of. And it all starts with one baby step at a time, and the rest of the rhythm follows you. In our community, we call ourselves as the “SILVER SISTERS.” We find solace, inspiration, sisterhood, and synergy with like-minded women aiming with the same goal to grow in wisdom, and to age gracefully. Yet, still have the fierceness and boldness of a blossoming woman!

Although it may sound to be kind of simple to you, this GREY

Demitri, my new found stylist 
@ Hector Estrada Salon is a 
creative and superb one. He 
is a people person who knows 
how to take care of his 
customers.

HAIR or SILVER HAIR MOVEMENT isn't as light as it seems to be; for it touches a congress of things important in our existence: love, life, work and relationships. Some relationships are resurrected, or broken because of the grey hair growth. Some women lost their chances of a new job because the vision of having an employee with a grey hair does not support the company values. Which is? To hire only the young! But isn’t that crazy to think that only the middle aged woman or the “baby boomers” are the only ones wearing this silver crown? What about those women who have, or had, the abnormal whitening/graying of the hair at an early age, say at 15 or 16? Therefore, this subject really embraces a whole new tribe on the thinking process. And not to bore you with detail, at least for me- here, I have found my turf. Indeed, it is quite a liberating feeling to have ditched the dye; and a greater feeling of confidence and connectedness to be in this circle of camaraderie of silver sisters. We are in sync!

OFF TO MY FINALE

Lastly, there is my better half who is my mirror in this journey. He is my anchor in everything that breaths (sigh), feels, sees and lives that is all a part of me. Also, there is the JAVIER matriarch that you’d see in my “FACE STORY” who is my paternal grandma, my "NANAY" (TEODORA KALINISAN JAVIER). She passed away, many moons ago, in September 1968. To her, I dedicate my FACE STORY.

NANAY (grandma in Tagalog) was a remarkable woman who was successful at business; an individual who had just the basic of education during her lifetime. Yet, she evolved beyond her time. Almost like a “Renaissance woman.” Needless to say, I didn't accomplish as much as she did. She made our life today that bountiful. We live with comfort and ease because of her sacrifices to get a better life for her family and for the next generation after her. This gesture of affirmation is not even enough to affirm her mark; one who is almost forgotten by time but not in my heart. NANAY had done tremendously well. She and I look alike. And there is so much to see on our similarities. See how we morph in the vdo, ok? It’s a play up of visuals to remember her. Go and enjoy it. Et merci beacoup pour votre le temps!

Thank you for your time in reading this soliloquy.

Best,

Pizzicatto in North Beach

08/18/201916h38m