SCENE 1: SAN FRANCISCO- early March 2007
Last year, I made her a slideshow for her birthday. It was so beautiful even I knew it was. She liked it.
“THANK YOU, COMADRE. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. BUT WAS IT REALLY ME- THE PERSON YOU DESCRIBED IN THE POWERPOINT PRESENTATION?”
I said YES in the email and a loud YES during my phone call to her.
In the process of me doing the slide, after editing it a hundredth times, I told myself,
“MY GOD, THIS IS LIKE A EULOGY."The affirmation was real but to me at that time, I thought,
“What if CARMEN suddenly dies? Then- this-becomes her memorial.”I dismissed the thought all at once. But it was dancing at the back of my mind.
SCENE 2: MAY 29, 2008- BANGKOK TIME
This was at the time of the call I made when I found out CARMEN had lung cancer.
“COMADRE, remember the slideshow you gave me on my birthday last year?”
I said, “YES?”
She laughed then said,
“I HAVE A PREMONITION. IT IS LIKE A EULOGY.”
We were both momentarily quiet. Then, I told her to forget it as it was not created for that occasion.
Well…that was CARMEN, sensitive to the world around her.
Three months ago, she knew she was going to die by snippets of her instinct- she knew way ahead of time even before her doctors could say it to her family.
She was avante garde- in many ways, in life and in death.
CARMEN just had this extra sensory perception about her forthcoming death and she shared this in confidence with me. I dare not tell her kids. I didn't want to scare them.
I shared this much later to my husband and good friend, EMILY SOMRIT when CARMEN was gone.
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