NEWS FLASH: THE FIXED MARRIAGE In Mind Of The Filipina~ IN AMERICA She Makes Her Plans

She is pathetic. In America she dreams to upgrade her family's economic level in the Philippines through "fake marriage." She will divorce her ailing husband in the Philippines for her to have a fixed marriage in San Francisco. My mind was reeling. There is not even a divorce law in the Philippines!

We didn’t know that today was the start of day light saving time (DST) until husband noticed his computer time, cellphone and wrist watch were all one hour earlier than the usual time. Because of this, were able to catch up with the 7.30 AM mass at Ss Peter and Paul Church since we were technically on time. We were up early and realized we were hours ahead for our date so we went to hear mass. Inside the church during the mass, an old but slim and sorrowful looking Filipina aged sixty approached me. Right after the mass ended, came up to me. And there began my annoyance towards her. Why? Well because I was still in the midst of doing the sign of the cross and kneeling down in front of the altar to end my prayers when she started to talk non-stop and asked so many questions about me. She didn't even have the decency to move side ways to give me my space at church. What a nerve she got in her system! I was turned off terribly with her rudeness and in so little time she has told me her life story in coming to America. She has been here since last year and the rest of her soliloquy went on like these:

1. She was a school principal in Cabanatuan city.

2. She has retired now from school.

3. She has a bed-ridden husband who had spinal injury that triggered her decision to come here in San Francisco to work.

3. Her daughter is taking up nursing.

4. She works as a caregiver, “one-on-one” in verbatim ~to one family in SFO who reside on Larkin Street.

5. She asked me to call her.

What a creep! First I thought she was very unethical to speak in Tagalog when obviously my husband is American and a non-Tagalog speaker. Second, she said she wanted a favor , goodnes gracious- she wanted help-monetary of course! Indeed, she spoke quite frankly and direct to the point. No shame at all! Gosh, in simple maths, she plans to mooch me and be a moocher! I was starting to hyperventilate realizing this as she made herself to appear so kind, pitiful and needing an immediate help and rescue. Whew! I on the other hand, felt cheated for having given her away my time and space. Like~ I care about her life when I only met her that minute? Hell-o? Decent people don't do that! Honorbale folks give you oxygen to breathe and are sensitive of your presence as well. She asked my name; introduced herself; insisted she gets my number; was asking for a pen and paper to write my phone number. I got none. Not even my cellphone was with me. We decided to come to church early and opted to leave our bags then come back later for whatever we had to take with us. And for the first time I only had my i.d. card in my jeans and nothing more. So, I was frozen and in deep shock, indeed- that I was caught in the midst of all these- unguarded moment, being nerve wracked by this woman who obviously has hidden agenda in befriending me written all over her oval face. And there, I found myself reciting to her my in audiblevoice aboutmy cellphone number, which I did regret doing so later. I realized she scored and I lost and the impact of paying attention to this woman had started to take its toil. But I am human and I make mistake, I get rattled, too- especially, when I am in a compromising position. I am the type who hates to embarrass others to the point that I am the one who is getting fried in the pan at times, all in the name of DELICADEZA or common sense and finesse! Moreover, am not a liar and I can't lie. So, yes, she got my number and yes, called me not once but thrice in an hour's time. After moi husband and I had gone elsewhere after church time where we met her, checking my phone upon coming home, I found out that has has left a voice mail in my cellphone and has requested me to promise her to call her back. Wow. In such a short time, she told me a lot that I am not going to bite her bait. I had been so generous to people in my lifetime.

During my early years as a young and independent career woman (while living and teaching overseas to children of ambassadors), I lent $3000 to someone in dire need of financial help. And poor me, I was swindled. Sure, this experience came to me as the great teacher in my life that i made me to be aware that some people are made of evil flesh and blood. It was a very costly learning experience about life, money and survival that taught me immensely on dealing people especially manipualtors, utilitarians and users like her! So believe me, this woman at church won't get a dime from me. Her parting words came as a surprise on my part as well as it spoke of her value system.

“I will divorce my husband to have a fixed marriage here in America. I am working here in California for him you know. It's a sacrifice I made.”

Now what kind of logic is that? Where is her truthfulness in her marriage vow? Well, she is not a friend so I got no melting heart for her sob story. She was pathetic, true. But I am not to embrace her bad luck and be her financier for her duration of time being an illegal alien California. And by the way, her being here in this situation is her choice, not mine. So how could I be responsible for her welfare? We all make choices be it good or bad. The impact is on us as takers. On her third call this morning, I told her I was in conference that I needed to go and end our conversation soonest. She still didn't get it. Finally, I think I was able to shake her brain off her skull. She responded in her most meek way (to get her way)...

"Tawagan mo ako anak." (Translation: Call me my dear daughter).

I had goose bumps! We are not even related by blood or affinity.

May be I should have told her straight out that my cousin is an immigration official in L.A.?

This is why I am not too keen to inter-act with odd looking Filipinos with bad vibes. Most are illegal aliens arriving here as tourists and then over staying for good once their visa have expired. On the contrary, decent Filipinos who come here for holidays are the ones getting into trouble with the immigration officers at the airport because of them. Cultural biases are triggered because of these bad blooded Filipinos. For this reason, who am I to blame the American officials for acting as such to innocent Filipinos travelling with Philippine passports?

Do you know that most often than not, if you are not an American passport holder, especially if you are a Filipino- once you enter an American airport- you would be brought to an interrogation room- a huge one, in the company with security officers and other travellers who are not American citizens? You are stuck in one room like you were a Jewish individual during the time of Hitler; you wait until your name is called upon. Innocent individuals are in the verge of panic- wondering why they were singled out, like why on earth were they brought there? They were coming to meet their friends and loved ones for a reunion! And they were being taken like common criminals! But once the interrogation is done and the immigration officers find out your entry is truly, indeed and yes- legal~ they'd wish you luck and say, "Have a nice vacation! WELCOME TO AMERICA!" Like hello, what happened to the state of apology-we made a mistake-here-tralalala?

I have seen old people, young people and children alike- feeling jittery while waiting their turn to be called. Oddly enough, there is still a smaller interrogation room within the big room for the officials to ask more tricky questions on why you are going to America. "ARE YOU GOING TO WORK HERE? WHY ARE YOU HERE? DO YOU PLAN TO BE AN ILLEGAL ALIEN?" "ARE YOU STAYING IN THE HOTEL OR WITH A FRIEND OR RELATIVE?" But despite all the strict airport procedures here in America, Filipinos with ill desires to get green cards pronto style, are still on the lose and are able to sneak in. I have been travelling internationally since 1989 and I hate to see these Filipinos with dark shadows to get away with their crimes. I feel sorry that the honorable ones are the oneswho are paying for these consequences. During the one visit I had here in the mid 90s, the airport official in Florida told me about the 10 Filipino doctors were attending an international conference in Orlando but right after the conference was over, the ten decided to stay over and become "T N T" or tago-ng-tago (TRANSLATION: "illegals infinitely hiding" because they have no legal documents being legal residents in America).

American immigration officials have horrible experiences with Filipino illegal aliens. Some Filipinos go through this interrogation process at the airport before their passports are given the 1-94 form of admission. But most would never divulge this humiliating experience out of pride. Well, I can't blame them. It's because of people like Aida, the woman I met at church this morning- that some Filipinos are humiliated at the airport before they are given entry to the USA despite the fact that they have their visas to enter the country. So for my own peace and sanity, I might report Aida to the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Service). It's a thought I may have to consider if only to bring dignity to the Filipinos back home. This should give her a lesson on when to shut up her mouth and when just to be quiet and mind her own business in a foreign land. Ciao!